Eine Kleine Nacht Maggie (Maggie MacKay Magical Tracker Book 9) Read online

  Dad, Mom, and Mindy were seated and Dad was giving them a full rundown on the day's events.

  Mindy looked up at me and nodded, impressed. "Spliced a dragon in half, huh?"

  "He wasn't a very nice dragon," I explained as I plopped down in front of the fireplace hearth. I patted the seat beside me and made room for my partner. "Killian was moments away from slaying the thing himself. I just picked up the pieces."

  "She is being modest," Killian explained. "She bisected a dragon with an energy portal and sent a mad king home to the dimension where he belonged."

  Mom yawned and turned to Dad. "Speaking of, why aren't we headed home to the dimension we belong, honey?"

  I pointed at the brass clock on Mindy's bookshelf. "Don't get on the road. It's almost midnight."

  Mom patted my knee. "No, dear. I'm asking why your father is going to make us stay for an extra week or so." She folded her arms and waited for his answer.

  "She sees all, she knows all." Dad pulled the old stretch-and-put-the-arm-around-her-shoulders-for-a-snuggle move and kissed her on the temple. "Eh, I figured maybe we should stay and make sure everything's in order."

  THIS got my tracker senses tingling. I squinted at him. "We just got you back. You're not already thinking about picking up side deals, are you?"

  Dad glossed over my accusation. "Naw. Just want to look up some old friends who might be hanging out over here."

  Now, I might not have my mom's full power, but I knew immediately who he was itching to look up and either I could call it for what it was or wait for mom to blurt it out. "You do know that your brother is stuck in the Dark Dimension now, right?"

  He looked at me like I had just told him the sky was made of cheesesteaks. "What?"

  "Yeah. While you were stuck as a statue, Killian and I rode into the Dark Dimension and your brother had been hauled over there accidentally by a hell horse."

  Dad wiped his face. "Well. That's a turn of events." He looked around. "So, he's actually closer to the Other Side." He looked at Mom and there was something in his eyes I hadn't seen before. "We could actually just... "stay" stay. In fact, it would be a whole lot safer if we did..."

  Mom patted his knee. "I have a thriving business on the Other Side and I'm not about to give up my regular clients because that brother of yours decided to move into a different dimension."

  "But think about it," Dad said. "We could live here again. We could be close to the baby and visit Mindy every day..."

  "Ummmm..."

  I could see she was not exactly sure about how she felt about all that.

  "You've always been nagging me to retire," Dad said.

  "I would never nag," Mom stated, scandalized. "And also, you said that you were retired. Just earlier this year, I heard the words come out of your mouth and you said, 'Honey? I'm retired.' But you keep forgetting."

  "Well... if we lived here, I wouldn't have to World Walk us through the dimensions every time you wanted to see your daughters. I imagine Maggie isn't coming back to the Other Side anytime soon."

  I jerked my head towards my partner. "We're going to avoid the Other Side for a bit."

  Dad laced his fingers in Mom's. "Just think about it," Dad pressed. "No more monsters walking around at night. No more walking around with garlic perfume dabbed behind your ears."

  "That would be nice," Mom sighed. "I've missed my Chanel No. 5."

  "So! Think about it! That's all."

  I could see the wheels turning in her head, but before they could cogitate too much, Mindy let out a huge yawn.

  "I hate to stop this party," she replied. "But I've slept about two hours in the past week and I feel like I should at least try to get five minutes in tonight."

  "Of course," said Mom getting up. "I'll help Pipistrelle get beds put together for Maggie and Killian. You head on upstairs!"

  As our party broke up, I couldn't help but reflect on how lucky we had all gotten today. It all could have gone very wrong. And I wondered without the power of the elves behind Killian, how much longer our luck would hold out.

  I was dead asleep from the moment my face hit Mindy's lacy, shabby chic pillow. Unfortunately for Killian, he was camped out on the nursery floor since my bedroom was strictly a Girls Only clubhouse and Mom and Dad had claimed the pullout couch in the living room.

  My eyes opened and the smell of coffee led me down into the kitchen. Though it was 9 AM, the only person awake was Killian. He was sitting in the breakfast nook, looking like a college kid the morning after a hard night on the town, which believe you me, is saying something. Usually, his elfin magic would wipe away the dust from his eyes and make him glow like a Sunday morning. Not this time. He had dark circles and morning stubble and his clothes were all rumpled. I moved to pat him on the shoulder and he just shook his head. "Don't."

  I've had a morning or two like that, so I let him be. This human thing was going to be roooough.

  "How did you sleep?" I asked.

  "I believe I may be too old to bed on the ground," he informed me.

  "You and me both," I replied. I held up the coffee pot and he just nodded. As I poured, I asked, "Where is everyone?"

  "Austin and Mindy are at work. Your mother, Pipistrelle, and your father have gone to a hardware store for supplies. Something about Pipistrelle wanting to build a tree house."

  "That seems a bit excessive," I stated, grabbing a bagel from the counter and sitting across from Killian.

  "I believe your father felt he could use it as an office until the child was old enough to utilize the space."

  I knew that Dad wasn't done smuggling.

  He pulled the ribbon away from his neck. "If it was not for this blasted amulet, I would have grown Mindy and her child a tree house naturally."

  I realized that maybe feeling a little useless in a situation where he should have dominated might also be contributing to his foul mood. I worked as a PA in the studio system. I got it. "Well," I replied, "It'll be nice to have a few moments of quiet." I stared at Killian, who was paying absolutely no attention to me. Instead, he was flipping through a stack of papers. "What are you looking at?" I asked.

  "Well," he replied, gathering himself and all his thoughts. "While sharing a brewed adult beverage with Austin last night, I confided in him that we would be unable to leave the premises until we secured employment. So, this morning, I found a stack of papers outside of my bedroom door. Each of them had a career opportunity! It really was most generous of him to aid us in this employment quest."

  I was pretty sure that Austin's aid was not entirely altruistic. "That was very generous of him," I concurred, keeping the rest of the thought to myself.

  "I believe that I have found one exceedingly attractive opportunity!"

  "Really?" I said. I reached out to take the piece of paper, but Killian held it back. "What?" I asked.

  He cleared his throat and held up his hand to indicate I should hear him out before objecting. "I am the one who placed you in this precarious position and whether or not you wish to join me in this employment opportunity is entirely your decision. But I wish to take this job and do not wish for you to try and dissuade me."

  "Okay," I replied, puzzled, still reaching out for the paper, but Killian still held it away from me.

  "Do you trust me, Maggie?" he asked.

  Him asking that question immediately sent up all the red flags. "No," I replied, reaching for the paper again.

  "Please, just this once. I shall tell you when we arrive," Killian begged.

  "Is it porn?" I asked. "Because you might not know it from the ad. Does it say anything about a 'starring role in a well-paying film opportunity for attractive actors with no acting experience'?"

  Killian shuffled a piece of paper to the bottom of the stack guiltily. "No."

  I took a deep breath. "Does it involve being a charming conversationalist who escorts wealthy singles to red carpet events?"

  "No."

  "Does it involve burgers?"

 
"I do not consume flesh, Maggie!" Killian replied, more outraged at that insinuation than anything else I had suggested.

  I sighed. The poor elf had been through the ringer. If there was something that had really caught his fancy and didn't involve serving meat or being meat, we might as well check it out.

  Chapter Two

  My Dad's boat of a car bounced down Barham just as a deer was trying to cross the road. I swerved as that animal almost managed to do what the vampires had been trying so long to accomplish. Wouldn't that have given Vaclav a laugh? The mighty Maggie MacKay done in by a vegetarian on four legs.

  Killian gripped the suicide handle as my tires squealed.

  "I got you!" I said to him. "We're not dying yet!"

  He exhaled and looked out the back window as that lucky S.O.B. pranced off into the sagebrush. "Do you think the Queen sent him?"

  "Man, Killian," I said. "You have got conspiracy on the brain."

  "After recent events," Killian replied, "I am not ruling out anything."

  A black SUV being driven by a short little woman barely able to see over the steering wheel swerved out of one of the long, private driveways, cutting us off. I found myself slamming on the brakes again. I pointed at the car. "Her, however. She's obviously a minion of evil. Remind me to stake her tires."

  The traffic started building as we neared the entrance ramp for the freeway. Off in the distance was one of the film studios perched up on the hill. Traffic heading into Hollywood was stopped. You'd think when the World Walkers came in and rebuilt after Killian and I burned the place down that one time, they could have installed an express lane or something.

  Fortunately, we were headed the other direction, not that it was going much faster. We crept along at about 35 mph down the 101 freeway, which was pretty much booking it during these rush hour times.

  I flipped on the radio and turned it up. It was the same song the station had been playing for the past five years and trying to pass off as new rock. Their playlist was enough to send anyone on a gun-toting, drive-by-shooting rage.

  "How much farther?" I asked.

  Killian consulted the GPS on my phone. "Just another hour more down the road."

  "Another HOUR?"

  "It is a mere 30 miles," he defended.

  I groaned and rolled my head against the headrest, beating out a rhythm on the steering wheel to the pop garbage on the radio. "You're POSITIVE this is the job you're dying to land?"

  "Absolutely."

  "Because right now, things are really feeling like death."

  "You shall spring to life the moment you see what I have in store!"

  He could see I wasn't believing him, but I decided to lay it on light. This was the first time I had seen my partner even remotely his old self since he put on the amulet, and I didn't want to quash whatever joy the poor guy had left.

  Killian had gotten freshened up for the interview and everything. He had borrowed a white button-down shirt from Austin's closet and a pair of black slacks, although I could tell from the bright green around his ankles he was wearing his tights underneath. Baby steps, I suppose... He actually looked quite chic, but then sort of ruined it by having to pop on one of Austin's porkpie hats to cover his pointy ear tips. Let's hope the interviewer had a soft spot for over-aged hipsters.

  We wound our way down the freeway, past the industrial complexes of Los Angeles, the sludge of the Los Angeles River with its cement walls and trickle of toxic waste. Semi trucks were passing us like we were standing still. Seemed like every time I got over, the lane I abandoned became the fast lane.

  Even Killian was practically chewing his seatbelt by the time we got to Torrance, but arrive we did, and there is nothing that Killian could have said to prepare me for the adventure he had in store.

  "Behold!" he pronounced, gesturing with his arm towards the wonder just beyond the exit.

  Seated to the right of the freeway, in the middle of an urban wasteland, was the most bizarre shopping center ever to take up square footage in Southern California. A massive, cracked, gray expanse of a parking lot filled with random pick-up trucks and old Volkswagens. Flanked a rundown Bavarian village.

  Like, little German grocery stores and souvenir shops and restaurants, and a little hotel that was painted like a Swiss chalet. It was good to know that if I decided to drink through this, I could book myself a room so I wouldn't get slammed with "drunken portal opening" violations in addition to all the other charges the World Walker Association was stacking up in my file. Because I was thinking I might need to drink through this.

  "Please tell me your interview is at a business a little farther down the road," I begged Killian.

  "Is it not glorious?" he replied, his eyes sparkling. "It is like all the human fairytales I have read from the Brothers of Grimm come to life!"

  "It definitely has the 'grim' part down..." I muttered.

  "Just you wait," he said. "This is going to make the joy we found at Father Killarney's church carnival seem like a day translating ancient Sumerian to Elfish."

  "I have no idea what that means."

  "It is unpleasant."

  I pulled off the freeway and turned into the parking lot. There were beer-bellied men dressed in t-shirts featuring such droll witticisms as "Fueled by reserve beer tank" and an arrow pointed down at their belly, and tatted girls in ripped t-shirts and too tight jeans - I mean... Really? Did they not read the health advisory that cutting off the blood supply to your bajinga was hazardous to a person's health?

  I was directed into a spot by a short Latino guy dressed in an orange visibility vest. The space seemed more appropriate to someone trying to park a bicycle.

  The plastic banner covered in beer steins let me know what drew this hearty crew of hopeful alcoholics to a random parking lot in Torrance.

  It was fucking Oktoberfest.

  "It's SEPTEMBER!" I pointed out, motioning to the banner. "SEPTEMBER! Why is it Oktoberfest?"

  "I did see Christmas decorations at a shopping complex last month," Killian pointed out.

  "Don't bring that up." I stepped out of the car as the empty wind swept by.

  Undaunted, Killian got out, too, filled with cheer and excitement. "And this is where I shall make my fortune!" pronounced Killian. "Does it not transport you, Maggie?"

  "Only to try and transport us out of here." I held my hands up in surrender. "Killian, if any place could make the hell which has faced us before seem like a heaven, this would be it."

  "You are welcome!" Killian pronounced.

  I just stopped him. "Killian? Why here? Why this place? The commute is terrible and IT'S A FAKE BAVARIAN VILLAGE."

  He held up his fingers and began to list off his reasons. "It is a 'temporary' position which only extends until the end of October. Second, we can leave without it affecting the possibility of future employment."

  "I'm pretty sure that anyone who has seen this place would immediately offer us a pity job to help us escape."

  "Third, I read some words in the job description, and I believe they may be looking for... 'our type'."

  "Our type?"

  "Other Siders," Killian whispered conspiringly.

  A glaring man in a butcher's uniform walked by us to the sausage shop.

  I leaned in. "What makes you say that?" I asked.

  "It is just something I inferred from their requirements. Furthermore, they do not require proof of previous employment, the hourly salary is low but there is the opportunity for advancement and tips—"

  "That's code for 'You're a chump', Killian."

  "AND they provide housing to the 'right' people."

  That made me stop. "They what?"

  "The position is a nighttime position and for people who, I believe, might be like us, they mentioned housing might be available, which would be advantageous for our situation."

  I groaned and leaned my head against the roof of the car. "Killian, this sounds too good to be true."

  "Well, allow me to examine t
he truth of it and then we may determine our willingness for involvement."

  "What's this 'we', kemosabe? I'M not getting a job here," I pronounced. "You can do whatever you want to do, but I'm going to do something which isn't the first step down a slippery slope to forming a tuba quartet, and that is not a euphemism."

  "You shall see, Maggie," Killian replied. "You shall be quite jealous of my employee discount on schnitzel."

  "Do you even know what schnitzel is?"

  "No. But I intend to find out." He wrapped his arm around my neck and good-naturedly dragged me in a headlock towards the front door of the hotel. "It is an adventure, Maggie! And it is not chiseling gargoyles off of buildings."

  I stopped and he let go. "That's a low blow, Killian," I stated.

  He rested his fists on his waist like a five-year-old. "You angered Frank the Ogre and, hence, we spent many weeks covered in gargoyle droppings."

  "It was not my fault."

  "Then you retrieved an amulet which caused my queen to be caught in a death loop with the Dark Dimension."

  "So, that one was my fault, but I was tricked."

  "This is neither of those things! There is beer! And sausages! You love both those things!"

  I did love both those things. "FINE! But tomorrow, we find my dream job."

  Killian stuck out his hand and we shook on it.

  The Swiss chalet inspired hotel was white stucco on the outside. Yellow, orange, and green glass circles filled the lead-paned windows.

  Killian opened a heavy wooden door for me and the interior pretty much justified every single reservation I had about this "opportunity."

  The lobby looked like it had been built in the 1970s and hadn't been renovated since. The sculpted carpets were avocado green. The walls were half white stucco, half faux walnut paneling. There were slices of logs hanging on the wall for decoration, highly varnished and decoupaged with images of happy Bavarian children. There were oddly placed wooden columns holding up the exposed beams on the ceiling. Except instead of wood or stucco between the beams, there was water stained acoustic tile. The front counter was made of dark wood and covered in layers of old furniture polish. My fingernails sank into the finish just resting my hands there. There was a little bell and I rang it. Killian shifted the tights under his pants uncomfortably.